How can we live...?

‘Wie können wir leben ...?’ by Thomas d'Ansembourg asks a question that occupies many parents and teachers: how do we convey meaning to young people and awaken their desire to become adults? The book sums it up in one sentence: young people do not listen to what we say, nor do they pay attention only to what we do. They pay attention to how we are.

What do young people see when they observe how adults manage their daily lives, deal with conflict and frustration, and organise their work-life balance? Do they think, ‘Being an adult is wonderful, I can hardly wait to learn and develop at my own pace’? Or is it more like, ‘They are mad, constantly stressed and rushing about, yet they demand respect without respecting themselves’? The book takes precisely this uncomfortable question seriously.

It is up to us as adults to question ourselves and find creative, inspiring answers: how do we show through the way we speak that respect, clarity and empathy are lived values, not merely ideas? How do we set clear, comprehensible boundaries without restricting the other person or ourselves? And how do we give young people, as parents or teachers, a sense of beauty and joy, even when it hurts? These are exactly the questions the book explores.

Thomas d'Ansembourg initially studied law and worked as a lawyer before training as a therapist and in Nonviolent Communication.

Translated from French by Claudia Seele-Nyima. Published by Junfermann Verlag, paperback, 200 pages.