Who’s Afraid of the Black Wolf?

You may know the German expression ‘jemandem den Schwarzen Peter zuschieben’ from the card game Schwarzer Peter: the person who is handed the Black Peter is being saddled with unpleasantness, an unwelcome problem, blame or responsibility. Dr Michael Pflaum took up this image in his book ‘Exerzitien der Nächstenliebe, Ergänzungen’ as a way to practise an important communication process. The result is ‘Wer hat Angst vor dem Schwarzen Wolf?’, a card game from Empathikon Verlag.

Nonviolent Communication is about creating a connection between equals. Judgemental language, or wolf language, often gets in our way. The giraffe language of feelings and needs developed by Marshall Rosenberg, by contrast, opens the way to a heartfelt connection. This card game trains precisely that distinction between wolf and giraffe language.

In the game, it is the Black Wolf who always knows exactly what is wrong with the other person or what they have done wrong. The other players give him feedback, each from a different perspective: as the inner wolf, who likewise sees nothing but faults; as the inner giraffe, who senses what a wolf attack feels like; as the empathetic giraffe, who connects compassionately with the wolf; or as the demanding wolf and the requesting giraffe.