Postcard: ‘Saying the right thing in difficult times’

A friend has received a serious diagnosis. A colleague is going through a break-up. Someone in the family has died. You want to comfort them, you want to help, and yet at times like these, those affected often hear phrases such as ‘It’ll be alright’, ‘Cheer up’ or ‘Just be glad that…’. Well-meaning, yet often hard to bear.

This is exactly where Susan Silk and Barry Goldman’s Ring Theory comes in. It brings structure to such situations and shows, in a simple way, how support really makes a difference in times of crisis: who should be close to the person affected and offer them support, and where it’s better to channel your own feelings of helplessness, frustration or fear. In short: empathy in, empty platitudes out.

This postcard illustrates the principle at a glance with a clear diagram. Empathy and comfort flow inwards: being there, listening, reflecting feelings and needs. Verbal clutter flows outwards: judgements, diagnoses, unsolicited advice, comparisons, personal stories, complaints. This ends up with people who are less close to the person affected than you are.

This makes the card ideal for training sessions and workshops, or simply as a reminder when it’s time to say the right thing during difficult times.